god will fight for me

is confidence the thing
that all boys need
as my girlfriend's mother
suggested to me
"know you're a catch
and close those jealous eyes"
as her daughter moved on
to better looking guys

is confidence a posture
feet planted proudly
like the man in the photo
that was mailed to instruct me
with words penned coldly
at the bottom of the letter
"no... but one day maybe
if you stand up better"

is confidence that word
on my job application
that translates my worth
into monetary compensation
but holds little interest
with its plain punctuation
"sorry... we gave it to the guy
with more exclamations"

the best in me
is nothing but vanity
the worst in me
becomes my identity
the best in me
will always get the best of me
the worst in me
will always crush the rest of me

confidence is a coal on fire
touched to a self undone
burning away the assurance
that empty words had spun
now made clean from this holy scene
and freed from false securities
I look down at my feet and finally see
that "here am i, send me"

confidence is my stillness
in a battle to be fought
ordered not to lift a weapon
cause the glory goes to God
now the horses draw nearer
but I let my eyes simply close
and though I feel the coming army
I set my sword at my toes